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claw rates things; the truest and most respectable rate
Topic Started: Aug 11 2017, 05:39 PM (282 Views)
clawx
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portnoyd,Aug 12 2017
04:56 AM
Rank the golden girls

Rank Eddie Murphy movies (pre-2000s)

First off the Golden Girls from best to worst are:

STOP OR MY MOM WILL SHOOT LADY
BETTY WHITE
BEA ARTHUR
THE WHORE

All of them are good but I like the saucy mother the most. She's great. Then it's dopey ass Betty White. then Bea Arthur's bitchy character, the slut blanche was the least amusing to me but still wonderful.

First off, I haven't seen Metro so that's out the door. and some of these I only saw once but my favorite of his movies is Trading Places. I watched that one with my old man when I was a child. the principal from the breakfast club gets raped by a gorilla and if that isn't funny I don't know what is!

Second place is probably Coming to America. He and Aresino Hall (who really should have had a bigger career!) had great chemistry together and it's got grumpy black port (I imagine portnoyd will be like John Amos in like 25 years).

I'll put Beverly Hills Cop next. I know its wild that I didn't make that number one but I like those others better.

Next BROTHER NUMPSAY aka the Golden Child, if only for that one scene which always cracks me up. Charles Dance is so goddamn annoyed with him in it. I love it.

Harlem Nights is next, probably should be a better movie because it has EDDIE, RICHIE PRYOR and goddamned Redd Foxx in it but it's only pretty good. I do think REDD FOXX steals the show because Richard Pryor was really sick during this movie. And Eddie is trying to top him. It's still neat to see because of that.

48 Hrs. I should watch this one again becuase the last time I saw it I was a wee lil child and my dad had shown it to me (he would show me all of these old comedies. good man) but i remember thinking it was good. Not great, but good. Another 48 Hrs is also good but not great.

Beverly Hills Cop 2 is also good but not great. still this is the last you should see it movie...

Holy Man is surprisingly enjoyable, but nothing fantastic. So is The Distinguished Gentleman. I think Nutty Professor is okay, same with the Klumps. none of these are must watch movies but they ain't terrible.

Doctor Doolittle and Beverly Hills Cop 3 are.


I don't remember a single thing about Bowfinger and I should becuase I like both Steve Martin AND Eddie Murphy a whole lot.

It was after 2000 but Pluto Nash is really bad. I don't want to see any of the others.


EDIT: I forgot about Boomerang. Uh... it exists?? Vampire in Brookyln is probably the worst movie Wes Craven ever made and it sure is the worst Eddie Murphy movie I've seen. I can't believe that movie sucked so bad! Uhh Shrek is shrek?? I like those weird meme videos... LIFE with Martin Lawrence wasn't too bad if only for the guy who screams YOU GONNA EAT THAT CORNBREAD. Actually that's all I remember about that movie.
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clawx
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Qix,Aug 12 2017
06:49 AM
Rate the men/women you’ve had sex with.

Starting with loog, of course.

I can't rate what never happened.
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calgone
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Bowfinger is so good.

Beverly Hills cop 2 and 3 probably shouldn't have been made and you could tell Eddie did not give a shit
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clawx
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2 is not too bad. I should revisit it honestly.

3 you could tell he really didn't want to make it. neither did John Landis. I don't think a single person in that film wanted to be there and it shows.
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portnoyd
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WET NOSE
Yeah, Hills Cop 2 is perfectly fine. It was one of those "we're a hit now, so we don't have to try" type movies. But it's not bad. Nutty Professor 2 is the same way.

3 was a cash grab. Eddie not only has obvious plot armor but psychic powers. Lazy, lazy writing.

In a bold move that shocks everyone, I agree with claw's Eddie rankings. Definitely Trading Places, then Coming to America (but it is close between the two for first), then Beverly Hills Cop and Golden Child (again, close between the two).

I wanted to like Holy Man but for whatever reason, it is the kind of movie missing nebulous things that would have made it considerably better. Hard to describe. Nutty Professor was the last best Eddie movie. You can see moments of old Eddie in there.

Dr Doolittle was fine when I watched it eons ago. I am sure a rewatch would be cringeworthy now.

Ok claw, rank Tom Hanks COMEDIES. This does not include the Toy Story movies, but does include movies like League of Their Own, Forrest Gump and Catch Me If You Can.
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clawx
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OK let's do the hankster. I always enjoyed him in comedies. I wish he would go back to making them.

First off the best one is and will always be the Burbs. I will legit fight you on this one if you disagree. The Burbs is a great movie and everyone in it is great.

The Money Pit with Shelley Long is awesome. Totally better than whatever stupid movie it was remaking that I havent seen because it was made in like 1922 or some horseshit. I like Shelley and she makes a good team with Tom.

Big would probably be third which might surprise some people but I do still think it's a great movie, just I would probably watch those other two over it.

Dragnet is definitely up there with The Addams Family and The Brady Bunch in how to make a great movie based off a tv show. It has Dabney Coleman AND the greatest white person rap of all time.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT_QRKfv8H4 if that doesn't bring you joy you are dead inside.

Volunteers is pretty underrated. I should revisit this one.

League of their Own is probably the only good thing that ever had Rosie O Donnell in it.

Forrest Gump is pretty great but GARY SINISE is the best part of it.

Nothing in Common with Jackie Gleason as his dad is pretty great.

The Man With One Red Shoe and probably the last one of his comedies that are must see. At least in my opinion.

I don't think I ever saw Punchline. Probably will get to that.

Uh the last time I saw Turner and Hooch I was a kid. Plus even then I liked K-9 more.

I saw Splash as a child too. Don't remember a single thing about it. Should revisit it.

I don't think I've even seen the entirety of Catch Me if You Can.

Honestly the only comedy of his I didn't like was Joe vs the Volcano, and I feel like giving that one another go.
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portnoyd
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WET NOSE
I agree with the entire list EXCEPT...

I did not like The Burbs.
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clawx
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David "Wrong Opinion" Portnoydington
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Bratwurst
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BIG JERK
Joe vs The Volcano is way underrated:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ljOj6GVcnQ
LOOK Posted Image LOOK AT HOW AMAZING THE FORUMS ARE NOW
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bigbangblackbillyboatbeautiful
BIG BUTT BABY
...
Edited by bigbangblackbillyboatbeautiful, Jun 13 2018, 04:53 PM.
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clawx
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edsel,Aug 13 2017
01:51 AM
geocities

geocities is a top 20 greatest things ever made.
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DamienC
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MASK vehicles, let's say top 5

What if comics, volume 2 only, how about top 10

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lannyc
Jizzlord
ebgames employees
jogging pants
1994
slayer988
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clawx
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DamienC,Aug 13 2017
01:08 PM
MASK vehicles, let's say top 5

What if comics, volume 2 only, how about top 10

I can't really do the first one. Never had any MASK toys and only have seen like 8 episodes of the show. I know, I'm a sham and a charlatan and a fraud.

as for what if? the one where KRAVEN kills spider man and eats like 8000 spiders because he's gone batshit insane is great. so is the one where Wolverine goes evil during Inferno and EATS A GOD DAMNED BABY. Also the one where he becomes head of SHIELD if only for the fact it's like one of five what if comics that actually has a positive ending hahaha. the two issues where spider man doesnt marry mary jane and instead marries black cat was pretty good too. I need to read more What If Vol 2 because most of the ones I've read are vol 1.

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clawx
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lannyc,Aug 13 2017
04:45 PM
ebgames employees
jogging pants
1994
slayer988

uhh all 2 times ive dealt with a ebgame employee has been pretty good.

I pretty much wear shorts and jogging pants because I am a fat fat fat fat fatty fat fat fatty fat fatso fatty fat. I like them.

1994 was a pretty good year in the 90s. I don't remember much from it except watching reruns of Batman on YTV.

Slayer988 IS the greatest member of the NES scene and if you disagree you are trash.
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